"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15
Forgiving Others
Charles Naylor, 1941
The mercy that God shows in forgiving us—puts us under the most solemn obligation to forgive others. Many people find this the hardest of all things to do. But God tells us plainly that if we will not forgive others—then we ourselves cannot be forgiven. If we will not forgive men—then God will not forgive us. Forgiveness, therefore, is a part of true repentance, and repentance is not complete until the heart adopts the forgiving attitude toward every enemy; and not only forgives because it feels it must—but also because it is disposed to forgive when it once has been forgiven and the love of God has come into the heart.
God is disposed to forgive his enemies. He is so much disposed to do it, that he sought a means whereby he could safely do so. He was so disposed to forgive sins against himself, that he gave his Son so that he might forgive transgressors. He was so disposed to forgive—that he sacrificed his only beloved Son for sinners. He sent his Son into the world to forgive—by changing the heart of the individual forgiven.
So he teaches us to forgive those who sin against us—and to leave all consequences in his hand.
Many people say, "I just cannot forgive." This is true of many professors of religion. These professors do not really forgive, for the thing still rankles in their hearts. They will hardly forgive, even under strong pressure—and then many times their forgiveness is only from the lips.
We find many professors of religion who are prejudiced against those who sin against them. This prejudice is manifested in a disposition to believe evil of them, or to put an unfavorable construction upon what they do or say. A lack of fairness is shown, and frequently a disposition to be rather elated when anything unpleasant happens to their enemies. Behind such a prejudice, lies a wrong attitude of heart, an unchristian attitude.
It matters not what an individual has done or said to us, nor what his attitude is toward us; if we hold the Christian attitude toward him—we shall feel a disposition to be perfectly fair with him. Perhaps we have a cause of complaint against him. Perhaps his conduct has not been and is not what it should be toward us. But if we have a forgiving spirit clear down to the depths of our hearts—then we will hold that same attitude of kindness and pity that Jesus held toward those who did wrong toward him, and that he holds toward sinners now. While we hate his evil-doing—we nevertheless feel no animosity toward him. But if we are prejudiced against him, if we will not give him a fair show—then we have reason to question the genuineness of our disposition to forgive.
Sometimes this lack of a forgiving disposition, is manifested in the home. There is ill feeling, unpleasantness, a disposition toward criticism and faultfinding. The members of the same family, who ought to love and feel a real tenderness toward each other, are often alienated. Sometimes that alienation grows until it rankles in the heart.
But notwithstanding their unforgiving disposition—the individuals may consider themselves very good Christians. Perhaps they throw all the blame upon the other one—but the old saying is, "It takes two to make a quarrel." In the same way it takes two to make ill feeling between two people. "Love is patient and kind." That divine love that is shed abroad in our hearts, issues invariably into a disposition to be forgiving. What is needed in many families, is forgiveness. Feelings will be hurt, and supposed rights will be trampled upon. Consciously or unconsciously, offenses will sometimes be given. The question is: Will we forgive these things—or will we let them start a canker in our hearts? We need to take antiseptic precautions for our heart, as well as for our body—to protect ourselves against the germs of evil as we try to protect ourselves against the germs of disease. But the question comes up square to face us: Do we forgive in our home circle?
If there is a reconciliation between parties who have been at enmity—that reconciliation is based on forgiveness. When the forgiveness is genuine—then there is a complete restoration of friendship and unity between the parties. Where such restoration does not come as the result of the attempt to correct matters, there is only one reason why it does not. That reason is—there has been no forgiveness. Where people really forgive each other—then there is nothing that remains to be taken out of the way. There is nothing rankling in the heart; there is nothing to push the other off; there is none of that "keep your distance" air; there is no feeling of coldness.
An unforgiving disposition is at the bottom of almost all church troubles—and it is of no use to attempt to deny this reality. People cannot be talked together; they cannot be argued together; there is only one thing that will bring them together, and that is for all to show a genuinely forgiving spirit. This leaves nothing to be a source of disturbance.
Why is it that people will not forgive? Is it because others have treated them wrongfully? Is it because their attitude toward them is not proper? No, it is nothing like this, though all this may have occurred. It is not what the other fellow has done—rather, it is what is in our hearts that prevents forgiveness. If we will not forgive—then it is because we are proud, stubborn, and self-willed. It is never hard to forgive, when our own hearts adopt a proper attitude. Like God, then we desire to forgive.
Do not overlook this one thing: forgiveness issues in peace—or at least in a peaceful heart, for the one who forgives, and in a Christlike attitude toward the wrongdoer. Where this Christlike attitude does not exist—then there is no forgiveness. In the church where things are settled and then come up again to trouble, or where coldness, indifference, and lack of love are manifested—forgiveness is the one thing needed in the hearts of those who hold such an attitude.
A good lesson was impressed upon my mind when I looked in my concordance to see what was said in the Bible on this subject. I found the word "forgave," then after it the word "forget," and on a little way the word "forgive." As "forget" stood right in the midst of "forgiveness" in my concordance—so it stands in the human heart. Forget is right in the heart of forgive—and if it is not that way in our hearts and minds—then it is because the right attitude of sincere forgiveness is not in our hearts.
If it is so hard for some to forgive once—then how do they expect to carry out Christ's injunction to forgive seventy times seven? Let us examine our hearts. Let us inquire whether we have a forgiving spirit, remembering all the while that a forgiving spirit does not abide in the same heart with hatred, bitterness, hardness and prejudice against people.
When we forgive people—it softens our hearts toward them. When we are reconciled to God, what blessedness it brings! When we are reconciled to our enemies—we partake of that same blessedness in our own hearts that we have when we are reconciled to Christ. But if we forgive not—then we shall not be forgiven, and our hearts will be fertile soil to receive all the seeds of evil that Satan would sow therein.
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The Unmerciful Servant
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless--you forgive your brother from your heart."
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Octavius Winslow
Closely connected, also, is the overcoming of enmity and the exercise of forgiveness, with our WORSHIP. We cannot worship God with a clean and true heart, with an approving conscience, or with a service acceptable to Him while an unforgiving spirit towards an offending brother is rankling within us. How pointed and impressive the injunction of Christ. "Leave you your gifts before [not upon] the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." With what freedom or hope of response can we penetrate within the Holy of Holies and commune with that God whose sweet, delightsome property is mercifully to forgive, while there is a secret reserve in our hearts of ill will and unforgiveness towards an offending brother? Can you honestly comply with the exhortation, "You people, pour out your heart before Him," while some deeply-shaded cloister of that heart you cannot pour out before God--you dare not place in the light of His countenance? How solemn are the words, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me."
But be honest! Look at the matter, however distasteful and painful it may be, fairly, fully in the face. Has any relation, Christian brother or sister, offended, injured, wounded you? Have you been evil spoken of? Has unkind defamation rested upon you? Have you been unjustly suspected, wrongfully accused, coldly slighted, cruelly slandered and spoken against? Are there any with whom you are not upon good and friendly terms? Do you meet in society, pass each other in the street, worship in the same sanctuary, and approach the same sacred table of the Lord's Supper without friendly recognition, or Christian communion? In a word, associating, worshiping, and even assembling at the Holy Communion, as total strangers? Yes, what is infinitely more offensive to God, meeting as bitter and unreconciled enemies! What a scandal to Christianity! what a dishonor to Christ! what a tainted spot upon your love feasts! what a lamentable spectacle to the eyes of the world!
And must this painful state of things exist? Is there no kind and skillful hand that will seek to cauterize and heal the fretting wound? Perhaps the offer of mediation is made. Some mutual friend undertakes the holy yet self-denying office. But you decline! Your injury, resentment, and pride are too deep, persistent, and unbending even to listen to the proposal; or, if the attempt is made, the concessions you demand are too imperious and humiliating, and so all effort to effect a reconciliation and restore peace falls to the ground, and you are left to a judicial spirit of revenge, malice and unforgiveness accompanying you to the grave, and upward to the judgment-seat.
But this lamentable state of things need not and must not continue. In His Name who, when we were sinners, loved us; who, when we were enemies, died for us; who, when we were rebels, overcame our evil by His grace, truth, and love--I beseech you, before the sun shall go down upon your wrath, seek out the brother or the sister whom you have offended, or who has offended you, and hold out your hand of reconciliation. If he is in the wrong wait not for his acknowledgment--God did not wait for you!--but make the first advance; and if that advance is repelled, make it again and yet again, for in so doing you shall heap coals of fire on his head which may melt down his proud, unrelenting spirit into contrition, forgiveness, and love.
Or if you are in the wrong, go at once and honestly and frankly acknowledge the wrong, and seek the forgiveness and reconciliation of the brother you have injured. Having done this--then bend together, the offended and the offender, before the mercy-seat, and together pray--"Father, forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." Happy reconciliation! Blissful moment! How many a heart thrills with joy, how many a home is radiant as with a new-created sun at the touching spectacle. The alienation of years is reconciled. The congealed affection of long dreary winters of discontent is melted. Misunderstandings are explained, differences are adjusted, acknowledgments are interchanged; relatives long estranged, families long divided, friends long alienated meet once more beneath the same roof; within the same sanctuary, and around the same sacramental table, and joy pulsates through every heart, and music, like a whisper from the celestial choir, breathes from every soul. Methinks I see the white-haired father, the venerable mother, the aged minister who had long prayed for the arrival of this hour, clasp the hands in thanksgiving, and exclaim, "Now, Lord, let you your servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen your salvation!"
Reader, it may be in your power to create a scene like this! By the pardoning mercy of God towards you, by the redeeming love of Him who died for you, by the dove-like peace of Him who dwells in you, by your hope of forgiveness at the last great day, I beseech you, I implore you, yes, in the name of Christ I command you, to lose not a moment in securing its accomplishment. The blessing of the peace-maker will then come upon you, and a faint reflection of the joy that brightened the Savior's heart when He reconciled us to God will brighten your heart, and gild the clouds that cast their shadows upon your homeward path.
But God the Holy Spirit, the Author of peace and lover of concord, shall speak--"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil-speaking, be put away from you, with all malice--and be kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you." Whenever any may have sought to injure your fair name, to lower your influence, to impair your usefulness--wilfully, wickedly, slanderously--imitate Jesus, and render not evil for evil, and when reviled revile not again. Revenge not yourself, but commit the matter to God, and by a silent spirit and a holy life live down the venomous slander. Your good may be evil spoken of, and your evil may be magnified and exaggerated--nevertheless, by a meek and quiet spirit, by a consistent walk, and by well-doing, you may put to silence the strife of lying tongues and the ignorance of foolish men, and thus glorify your Father who is in heaven.
